Some strange things happen when you touch down on home soil after a life changing trip. Once the initial joy of eating all the things you missed (lollies!) has subsided, you are left weeping into your wallet when you spot a rupee or a euro. It is a hard and trying time and what do us young internet folk do when we are going through a hard and trying time? Read lists and relate! So here is my list of twenty five things that happen when you get home from a long trip overseas.
1. You realise you have absolutely nothing in your wardrobe/backpack that could pass as ‘business attire’. Apparently throwing a blazer over your harem pants doesn’t quite cut it.
2. You hold up a line of people at the ticket machine because you keep putting the wrong currency coin in.
3. You are left with a whole bunch of shell necklaces/ratty bracelets/ harem pants that made sense in South-East Asia but now make you look like a homeless person.
4. All your friends are just a little bit more friendly with each other and it makes you feel left out.
5. You spend forty-five minutes looking at all the cool new things (kale chips! coconut yogurt!) in the supermarket but then you remember you cant afford anything.
6. You suddenly have to worry about things like going on dinner dates and valentines day.
7. You have to take out a small loan/sell your body on the corner if you want to go out for dinner.
8. When you left, all your friends were in new, cutesy relationships. Now they live together and fight about who does the dishes more.
9. You have to buy a new inner-spring mattress that costs the same price as your ticket to Asia.
10. There are only so many pictures of your new room that your travel-hungry Instagram followers will like.
11. You will spend every cent of your money on new sheets because of that glorious feeling of having your own bed again.
12. Even the best of friendships will suffer if you sleep on their couch for more than a month.
13. You realise you have nothing to blog about anymore (and have to write long list-icles).
14. You annoy a lot of people with your assertive (read: obnoxious) driving and lack of concern for road-rules. You might even get a speeding ticket or parking fine.
15. You have to dust off your curling wand and hair straighter because apparently the ‘pineapple’ hairdo isn’t socially acceptable in real life.
16. On your way to work, you see backpackers and it makes you want to weep in the office toilets.
17. That cute little bar you used to go to has been replaced by a cuter, littler bar as the cool place to hang out.
18. You feel a little thrill of excitement when you realise you get to start planning a whole new trip.
19. You have forgotten all the passwords and numbers for your internet banking/ phone plan/tax.
20. You start every conversation with ” oh I’m just back from traveling’ and drop in your travel stories at any given moment.
21. You don’t know what to do with all your travel paraphernalia. There are not many uses for a cotton sleeping sack in real life.
22. You learn the hard way that drinking on a Tuesday is not considered healthy or normal. You miss having a beer with lunch everyday.
23. You quickly realise that you should of kept some money in your bank for the awkward period of time spent searching for a job. Also, living with your parents suck.
24. You feel like you are deserting your child when you have to stuff your backpack under your bed to collect dust bunnies.
25. You start to recognize ‘the signs’ of a traveller and go out of your way to make friends with them. Think Fjallraven backpacks, Nalgene bottles and laptops covered in stickers.
So there you have it. Do you relate to any of these? I feel like I have gone through them all! What else happens to you when you come home? Leave me a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.