Currently I am on a train speeding across Germany.
Yesterday I was in Nepal.
Last week I had a completely different future. One that involved staying in Kathmandu and then exploring the rest of South-East Asia. Maybe even heading over to China to teach english.
Tomorrow I will be living in a castle in the Eastern-German town of Herrnhut.
And yes, I am alone. And life at the moment is pretty crap.
A note on breakups
Break ups suck. Break ups when you are travelling suck even worse. You lose your safety, your stability in an unstable world. Suddenly the world seems like a scary place and not the exciting adventure that it did just days earlier.
Breakups are felt in the quiet moments before dawn when you wake up alone in a bed that isn’t your own. They are felt when you momentarily forget that they aren’t here anymore. When you find something funny on the internet and have no one to show it to. Breakups are felt in the moment before your plane takes off and you have no one to hold your hand and laugh at your nerves.
On this train going across Germany, I am heartbroken but hopeful.
I am starting to feel little glimpses of a happiness that I haven’t felt in a long time. I am excited to become the person that I want to be, to make new friends and to be strong and independent. In the days after the break up all I wanted was to go home. Be enveloped in a warm hug from my mum and spend time snuggling my cat. I wanted to hop the next flight and disappear from the world. But that would have been the easy option. That option would mean that I would be going backwards. I would become sadder, weaker, and I would be giving up. I would be further away from who I wanted to be.
So I took the harder option and I am almost positive that it was the right choice. From my train window, I can see flowers blooming across Germany. White and pink blossoms are rising up from the green fields. Spring is here.
New plans and a few changes
This blog, although not popular or successful by any means, has made me realise one thing. I love to write. I want to be a writer. I want to write blogs. I want to write books. I will continue writing this blog to the best of my ability but it is going to be a little bit different from now on. As the blog is now fully mine, I want to make it more personal. More of a chronicle of my life, my thoughts and my feelings. It will still be primarily a travel blog but with a little bit of a twist. Please just bare with me as I find my feet and explore what I want this blog to be.
In terms of travel plans, I will be staying in Eastern-Germany for the next three months and then going to an unknown location for two months after that (I will keep you posted!). After Germany I will heading to L.A for my sisters wedding (exciting!) and then to the tiny island of Mauritius (my home) for Christmas. After that, who knows? If I have learnt anything, it’s that life is unpredictable.
Leaving Nepal was hard. I loved this dusty country with its fluttering prayer flags and its snowy mountain peaks. More than anything, I loved hanging out with my sister.
Just yesterday on my way to the Kathmandu airport, in an attempt to dodge some nasty traffic, my taxi driver took me on a back route. After going down an endless number of winding streets we came out near a huge slum settlement on the side of a river. We drove for kilometres alongside the river and the slums did not stop. The houses were built with old billboards, scrap wood and mud. I watched as the people in the slums went about there daily lives living in scrap and filth.
Although I was leaving Nepal with my heart broken, these people had their hearts broken everyday.
They woke up everyday in the same falling down shelter, they watched their children get sick and die, unable to afford healthcare or basic sanitation. They watched the world go by in their cars and on their motorbikes, wearing their clean clothes, having fun. They watched school children walking home, getting educated and having opportunities whereas their children played in piles of rubbish.
How could their hearts not break everyday with the utter unfairness of it all?
And I thought, if the hardest thing I have to go through this year is getting over a failed relationship that ended amicably, then boy, am I lucky.
Sorry if this post is a little bit of a ramble and all over the place. I would love to hear how your year is going. Leave me a comment or send me an email at email@example.com.